Divorce isn’t ever an easy situation, but it’s one that’s sometimes necessary. For parents of minor or otherwise dependent kids, a great difficulty inspired by this situation involves having to remain in contact with each other because of their children.
Adults who share dependent children must ensure they can communicate about the children, even if they can’t necessarily get along. The following tips may help parents who are in this position.
Always choose direct communication
Parents should never try to communicate through their children. Direct communication between parents is typically best. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the parents have to use verbal communication. Instead, some adults who don’t get along may find it easier and better to communicate via written options, such as parenting apps, texts or emails.
Remain focused solely on the children
Parents should try to keep their focus on their children. It’s easy to become emotional and start to talk about the things that led to the end of a romantic relationship, but that can put a significant strain on the parenting relationship. It may be beneficial for parents to make a list of issues that need to be addressed so they can stick to those topics when they communicate.
Stay calm and respectful
Communication should always be calm and respectful. Contentious and tense conversations are bound to happen, but knowing when to take a step back is critical. It helps some parents to think of their circumstances as a business-like situation so they can avoid letting their emotions take control of the situation.
Avoid badmouthing and negativity
Neither parent should badmouth the other or speak negatively about child custody situations. Children may internalize the things they hear, so parents speaking positively and encouraging the children can significantly help the children to adjust and thrive after their parents split up.
Parents should ensure that they get a strong parenting plan set up as soon as they reasonably can after they split up. It should be rooted in what the children need. It may help parents to work with someone who understands these matters so they can draw on their knowledge to the greatest possible extent.